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Submitted by: dunno source via Submit a Kludge!
Favorite Comment: Fixer peregrin says, “Then add a little tomato sauce, then some cheese, and another layer of maxi-pads. Continue until it reaches the top of the pan-or until your guests run out of the house retching.”
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FIRST! YEA, SUCK IT Trebeck. I would perfer used ones to give it that extra kick.
Poster has it wrong, this isnt some inept attempt to soak up grease. This is just 1 more crazy step in American’s obsession with deep frying everything. Deep Fried Maxi. The next iteration is of course the Deep Fried used Maxi, or perhaps Bloodied Deep Fried Maxi.
not sure what’s more disturbing… that someone would use pads as grease absorbers… or smelly’s post
<__>
<_<
baaaaaaa
yeah, totally. i tried to think of an ipad joke, but it’s just to disturbing…
The iPad can’t do this.
Which is why the iPan was invented.
Don’t worry, Apple will debut the Max-iPad next year.
So they can sell more overpriced tech you don’t need to people who have more money than they know what to do with.
but you know, there’s an app for anything ^^
Day 256: I have finished the zombie pit trap and will be luring them in with a new bait. If the pit trap doesn’t get them, the trans fats will!
The iPad CAN multitask!
Now it still looks fine – how will it look after using.
And how will it taste, after showing it the invited guests…
Yeah… I don’t think they are meant to be eaten but to soak up the fat.
On the other hand, sprinkle them with some sesame and they should be indistinctable to your regular burger bun taste wise.
After the first keg, who cares if they were invited? Just tell them “Spot season is open and enjoy.”
And I thought my idea of using these to wipe sweats are obnoxious…
flavor pads!
… and you can re-use them as fire starters!
FTW!!!
lol what an Idea.. I should start business with that
renting out maxis to diners in my area and then distributing them to campers all over the country… they will love me and I’ll be rich! Thank you for that excellent idea.
GENIOUS! You must be a scout.
Please, Please, Please, let Gordon Ramsay into this kitchen!
He’d probably just set this one on fire. No jury would convict him, either!
not only no conviction: I’ll provide the matches!
The LOLcats a few pages to the right will provide the methane gas.
And, the ones for use with (chicken) wings are labeled as such right on the box!
Ha! Wings! Guess some people are really sick of paper towels sliding around.
Somewhere in this is a Red Bull joke.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww. Just eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, too.
I third this …
Why ew? They’re not used. They’re supposedly sterile out of the box. Just because they’re usually used for one thing…
Now if they were already used, that would be beyond gross and I’d gladly second your “ew”.
If you like your fries impregnated with that soft perfume that reminds you of that day of the month, fine! But I think I’ll pass, sterile or not.
They come in unscented, you know.
That was what I was going to say.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww. I think it’s too gross even to make jokes about.
I think I just vomited a little in my mouth…
I think I just vomited a little in someone else’s mouth…
It’s so hard to tell, because you can’t really dust for vomit
No more Youtube for you.
Disturbing. OMG, now how am I going to get this image out of my head next time I sit down to eat fries? Or wings? Or for that matter, every time in the future I use parchment paper?
It’s your new diet aid! You can thank us later.
Well, as if it isn’t disgusting enough to cook with that much grease…
Once you’ve fought in the Gulf War, paper products are paper products.
Ahaha! And anyone can get used to the baby powder flavor of food, right?
I’m sure they’re unscented (and thus without taste {ba dum bum!}). They could have done this for laughs, or they’re too baked to drive somewhere for paper towels and the munchie fits are super strong. Those pads contain a small amount of super-absorbent polymer like that used in diapers. They absorb more water than oil, but I guess they’d work in a pinch.
I’d be worried about the polymer getting out. Those things aren’t exactly food-grade, and they might melt a little under the hot fries. Still, though, I’m kinda tempted to try it, now that I’ve seen it. It’s a good thing I’m out of potatoes.
bless your heart for saying that, really made me laugh,and i totally needed it!
And if you’re a vet, thanks of a grateful nation.
I don’t think it’s gross because at least they’re clean and freshly opened. HOWEVER, what they should’ve done is first cut open a brown paper bag and laid it in there inside out. Then put paper towels on top of it.
They may be clean, but they’re perfumed. Do you want THAT aftertaste on your fries?
oops! ^^
(oops!=sorry!)
how do you know they’re perfumed? Do you have smellovision attachment for your computer? I never buy “scented” ones because they make the resulting smell worse instead of covering up, so all I saw was just the ick of subject, plus imagining bits of that product attaching to the food. All around, just gross! But likely not scented.
I hope he’s not making dinner for his girlfriend.
Scented! If you’ve gone this far, you might as well go whole hog. And what girlfriend? These must have been left by a relative.
Wait, we’re not seeing cooking on a hot plate in the bathroom here, are we? *fingers crossed*
You know its basically the same as those little packets that you find under your meat from the grocery store right?
Don’t want to find any kotex there, either, if it’s all right.
This all reminds me of a scene from ‘So I Married an Axe Murderer,’ where they play, “Would You Rather…?” It goes something like:
“Would you rather order your favorite meal from your favorite restaurant, and under the steak you find a scabby band-aid, or…”
“Uh, be electrocuted?”
I just don’t know how to answer the question today. Either way, it’s going to be icky.
From the night before?
I didn’t know those little packets under my meat were from the grocery store!
Can we offer you some kotex?
*snicker*
They aren’t all perfumed.
Not all pads are perfumed. Many are unscented and some just have baking soda in them.
Thanks for reminding us. It’s all better now!
*Blech*
How do you know they’re perfumed? Most of them these days aren’t perfumed now that people have found that perfumed stuff “down there” can lead to yeast infection…
I’m pretty sure the point here is that they have no paper towels.
The real kludge happens when they’re out of pads next time they need them. I don’t need a follow-up post, though.
How is this gross if they’re clean? Just get past the mental image…
They’re not designed to withstand the hot temperature of boiling oil therefore, very likely to yield harmful chemicals to fries. Definately not food-grade.
Noooooo .. just..NO >.< *shudder*
How to Maxi-mise on absorption in the kitchen?
Cousin Redsagna?
When Aunt Flo came to visit for a few days, she tried to make us forget about the inconvenience over by offering to cook dinner and rent a movie. I was skeptical. Of all the shows out there, she rented one from 1995…Crimson Tide. I said nothing and tried to stay optimistic. However, when she lined the bottom of the tray with pads to absorb the french fry grease, I was mortified! This was absolutely without question THE worst idea ever. Period.
(P)rologue to
(M)alnutrition and
(S)hame
Well, maybe not malnutrition, but it could be a while before anyone who sees this gets their appetite back. But there should be shame. A whole lotta shame.
Try telling that to a Zombie. Yum. Yum. I want some.
I love you.
Some of your best work yet, Dogmeat. (thumbs-up emoticon goes here)
shoulda been the winner
Agreed! It did a lot toward making a bad photo better!
Would you like deodorant fries with that?
Can I get some shampoo for the fries also?
Hmm. Depends AND Wesson, better together. I’m thinking we’re going to see Florence Henderson back on TV again real soon in the ads.
“that’s nasty..” -Cleveland
Usually I like to have blue cheese with my hot wings, but not today thank you.
Wait, are those fries cooking in light or heavy flow oil?
Just don’t ask her to squeeze a little lemon on the fish.
Unfortunately for his dinner guests, Bob misunderstood the term “sanitary napkin”.
In fact, it’s probably cleaner than using absorbing paper, but as it is more expensive I’m not sure it is used a lot (even though it’s not a bad idea).
Then add a little tomato sauce, then some cheese, and another layer of maxi-pads. Continue until it reaches the top of the pan-or until your guests run out of the house retching.
I guess the plus side is they aren’t used…
This is not what I had in mind when I ordered wings and fries.
Have a happy lunch period. – ALWAYS!
ew, flower scented chicken fingers fonight
OMG I am a woman and that is still so gross!! WTF!
Gomie, I am sorry it is an American male culteral (sic) heritage to try to outgross each other. I am more startled by all the comments than I am by the displayed use of the product. Especially since we boys have used condoms for water baloons. The last time I saw a maxi pad it was on a deep wound of a guy’s leg and he was grateful for it.
In army survival books, they use condoms as water reserve containers and maxi pads to fix open wounds when a first aid kit is not handy.
Most armies were and are mostly male. Women are not allowed on the front line in the overwhelming majority of militaries. So how likely is it that a soldier wounded in battle would have a sanitary towel available?
Not sure about Maxi pads, but tampons can be pretty useful for guys on the front lines.
http://www.snopes.com/military/tampon.asp
Some of them come with ketchup.
This is obviously the tool table for a redneck doctor about to deliver a baby. Note the strategic placing of the fries for when things start to go bad.
In case the mom doesn’t just want the baby but orders the combo?
This is wrong on so many levels.
They are shipped in sterile, sealed packaging, which means they are probably cleaner than paper towels. It’s just cotton. I’d do it if I were a starving college student.
I AM a starving college student (well, sort of) and I wouldn’t do it.
First, I am going to kill myself. Then I am going to kill the cook.
Your comment is the one that made me laugh. Thanks.
That’s gonna require a kludge of its own.
Where is Texas Pete when you need him?
Totally gross
For those days when your chicken wings are feeling “not so fresh.”
Nice.. this one made me laugh!
It appears there are two different kinds of pads on this tray. I don’t know what the significance of that fact is, but whatever it turns out to be, I think it may raise the creepiness factor a notch or two.
I’m thinking this is a camping trip, and that somebody had an oh sh*t moment when they realized they didn’t have paper towels. This was the kludge to get dinner cooked?
Seriously though – those pads are loaded with a gel that is super-absorbent to *water*, but probably won’t do anything whatsoever for grease! Bad idea altogether.
I recommend tampons instead…
They ran out of those when they did the dishes last night and couldn’t find a bottle brush.
Going by the ads, now you can have dinner, ride a horse, and go rollerblading with a dog.
Nonono that’s tampons.
“Modess… because.”
But you’d have to be my age to remember that years ago they weren’t actually allowed to tell what the product for when they advertised it on tv.
Teehee! “Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret.”
I guess if you find yourself with a surplus of pads its better to do something with them then to waste them all.
If you find yourself in the same dilemma, please use the time you would have spent on the fries to find a women’s shelter, and donate them! You’ll feel better about yourself later, trust me!
You might be a redneck if…
….you use these for dinner napkins and think they look kinda nice with the fancy napkin rings.
Yum, yum…goes great with ketchup!
Now that will make you lose your lunch
McDonalds and Carefree, the official sponsors of Olympics, brig you this new take on a classical Romanian dish : Grace-wraps, now with less trans fats.
“Would you like thighs with that?”
The pot holder quietly watches the pan menstruate.
Pennes should never go in there, the pan is obviously on its period.
I know you kids wanted to have french fries tonight but you can’t. Sorry, but it’s that time of the month.
Dono1, you’re God! LOL.
After the bitter divorce, Walter roamed around the empty house for days. Finally, hunger got the best of him, and he bitterly proceeded to cook his own french fries. Then he discovered the ex-wife took all the paper towels. Damn it!
But, alas she left the super maxi-pads.
Thank goodness for small victories!
Once you get past the psychological association then creative opportunities are many. I have used these as first aid for severe cuts and 2nd-degree sunburn blisters. I keep in my job site first aid kit a fresh light one along with the usual gauze and square gauze pads. I remember when I was a child how my siblings and I were horrified by my Dad’s suggestion to use toilet paper to blow our noses, but we got over it…eventually.
FYI – on a related note, tampons are often used “in the field” to plug bullet wounds/control bleeding.
They’re amazingly effective for clearing paintball guns after breaking a ball in the barrel, grabbing shell fragments, absorbing paint, and wiping the barrel on it’s way out. The attached string also aids in the ballistic properties.
Insert, add water, aim at opponent, wait for therapy bill…
And we used to used those big Kotex when we waxed our cars.
Aw, HELL to the NO!! GAG *heave*
How not to make authentic “Pad Thai”!
I think the term you want is ladysauce marinara.
Thats not right. You use diapers for french fries.
You use pads for bacon.
At least they’er clean………I bet they feel fresh
Next time try Always with Wings for a light, airy batch of fries
That is freaking SICK. Why would you want to use maxi pads?!! I know they’re super absorbent, but using it to absorb grease from food is just wrong! Think of the connotations! OH GOD!
It should be obvious to anyone who has seen the price of pads this is a set-up joke. Nobody would really do this even without the gross-out factor.
Pads are really expensive, way too expensive to use as a paper towel replacement.