Workers in Hazmat Suits

Kludge or Triumph? That Can’t Be Safe #1

Almost everybody who’s ever had a job knows that OSHA stands for the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, which is basically the hall monitor of the American workplace. It’s also common knowledge that unlike local building and health inspectors, OSHA doesn’t always call first. Sometimes they just show up unannounced and say, “What you got cookin’ here, folks?”

OSHA would have a field day with many of these regulatory scofflaws but I’m sure somebody over at the agency has a sense of humor about such wanton disrespect for the safety and well-being of our workers. We know we do!

Nope, No Way, Zero Chance

It doesn’t even matter if this guy has a safety harness that’s not in the picture, there are plenty of people in this world who would nope the hell out of this death climb without hesitation. You see brave daredevil risking his life for a good cause while the rest of us see former carpenter’s apprentice who didn’t have much to live for in the first place.

High Voltage? More Like Die Voltage

This is where the inspector says, “What made you think you could get away with it – and live?

But Is It Up to Code?

“Up to code” is one of those phrases you hear on construction sites that could mean one of two things. On one hand, it could mean this wiring meets the strict requirements of the federal and local building codes, and more importantly, isn’t likely to burn the joint to the ground. On the other hand, it could mean, well, I don’t know what went wrong because it passed the inspection. Either way, you have the confidence that somebody knows and follows the rules. Here we have a jury rig that’s definitely not up to code.

Eastern European Construction Parkour is Some Next-Level Mission Impossible S***

Did you know that parkour originated from military obstacle course training? Yeah, it started out with the goal of using the most suitable movement for a situation, sort of a non-combat martial art, if you will.

Something about this image screams, “Eastern Europe”. Maybe it’s the track suits? We’d bet the farm it wasn’t taken in the US.

Lucky Somebody Didn’t Die

More trivial information: Did you know that concrete doesn’t technically “burn”? No, what happens is the surface gets so hot that chunks start to explode like shrapnel from a grenade.

Cirque du Soliel Meets Johnson Brothers Logistics

You don’t have to know anything about anything to recognize that this isn’t safe on any planet, in any universe with gravity. There are professional stuntmen who wouldn’t take this gig.

How Do You Feel About Ropes of Molten Steel?

We don’t like them.


High School Soccer Team = Free Labor

We counted 12 kids up on the roof, and make no mistake, those aren’t professional roofers. Those are a bunch of shirtless high school kids doing penance for pissing off their soccer coach.

True story: We once witnessed a roof collapse that dropped a crew of 6 to the second floor of an old Victorian. The amount of blood and number of puncture wounds made us nauseous. And at least those guys were wearing flannels and work denim.

You Can Swim, Right?

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Florida is the kind of place where almost any question of “Why?” can be answered with, “Because it’s Florida, that’s why.”

No Manhole, No Problem

Have you any idea what driving into an open manhole does to the wheel, axle, and suspension of a vehicle? Can you imagine what might happen if you were, say, traveling at 25 miles per hour? It’s like pulling out a tooth with a string.

This isn’t so much of a jury rig as a Good Samaritan warning to stay the hell away from the manhole.

Beer Crate Daredevil

This is awesome because if he falls forward, he’s falling into a glass windowpane, and if he falls backwards, he’s falling into a lifetime in a wheelchair. It’s a win-win.

Featured image credit: Samuel King Jr., Eglin Air Force Base